You are always mad at me.
You are mad at me when I don't visit you often enough.
When I come too often
If I talk too much
If I don't have enough to say,
If I take your plate too early
If it sits too long,
If I touch your shoulder,
If I stand too far away,
If I make a joke,
If I am too serious,
If I offer you another drink,
If I don't offer you another drink,
If I interrupt your conversation,
If I stand and wait while you converse,
If I waste your time with the specials,
If I dont tell you all of the specials,
If I suggest desert,
If I fail to mention desert,
If I offer you 2 pieces of fish,
If I assume you will only eat one,


If I don't bring your bill,
If I bring you your bill,
If I don't say something witty,
If I say something funny,
If I make fun of myself,
If I make fun of you,
If I drop this beer in your lap
If I throw yourplate at your coworkers,
If I drop your palm pilots in your water, no ice with a lemon
If I interupt your email session on your palm pilot
If I kick your black berry
If I look at you funny when you speak to yourself
If I ignore that you have an ear piece
If i spit on you
If I scold you for poor tipping
If I laugh at you for poor tipping
If I walk out on my job because of poor tipping

I am an irritated waitress,...
So I quit.